Vanquishing Little Monsters

Content Note: discusses exercise, covid stress, and bug extermination.

I killed a monster! It was an epic battle. Yesterday morning I came downstairs, opened the top of my coffeemaker, and a live cockroach was perched on the rim of the water reservoir. When I pursued the fiendish beast, it hid inside and clung to the plastic wall – sheltering in place even as I vigorously shook the whole coffee machine upside-down. I eventually dislodged the little monster with a spoon and crushed its horrible prehistoric body with a paper towel.

Then I cleaned EVERYTHING.

This should be good for my stress level.



We are still healthy here. I’m staying home, writing -- and sewing little 3-layer cotton facemasks to wear to the grocery store or when navigating the still-too-crowded sidewalks in my neighborhood. (Ping me if you want one!)

I’m very lucky to have a loving, supportive nesting partner and a kitchen full of food. (Now also full of boric acid.) But, of course, like everyone, I’ve been stressing out a LOT.

One day last week, I realized I was completely physically exhausted, when I hadn’t really done much of anything. My overwhelming exhaustion was purely from carrying so much unresolved stress and tension.

Everyone is going through the same thing. I started reading up on the Stress Response Cycle and how to complete or resolve it. I found a bunch of interviews with Emily and Amelia Nagoski about their recent book “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.” When something scares or menaces us, our bodies prepare for “fight or flight” – but nowadays, most of the stressors are ongoing, chronic, and microscopic/distant/intangible. We can’t run away from them. We never get to safety. So our bodies keep holding onto the stress.

To close the stress response cycle, the Nagoski sisters suggest we simulate successfully running away from the monster:  Run, or otherwise exercise vigorously. Then hug someone: a long, slow hug that lasts 20 seconds (so, about as long as a thorough hand-washing). You are safe, you have escaped the predator! Then (step 3) be very cozy, and get some rest.

Energetic exercise, something soothing that makes you feel safe, and a good rest. Ideally all three steps in that order.

I am physically active, but it’s mostly been housecleaning and crafts. I wasn’t doing anything really energetic like running or dancing. So I’ve been trying to add in some vigorous calisthenics. (Waving around a coffeemaker and banging it repeatedly on the back porch totally counts.)

The Nagoskis do talk about alternatives to exercise.

* Imagination. – You don’t need a lion chasing you; we can be stressed out by something imaginary or hypothetical. So try imagining yourself defeating it, too. (Amelia describes visualizing herself as Godzilla.)

* Creative self-expression. (That's been my main stratagem, but for me, it was not physical enough.)

* Connection. (Compliment someone on social media. Get a really good hug and/or kiss. Etc.) This can also be a connection with your pet, or with a place in nature that recharges and restores you.

They say: Give yourself permission to turn away from what’s causing your stress, in order to deal with the stress itself in your body, with kindness and compassion.

I have also started doing yoga in my Aerie. These practices from Yoga Heights in DC are free on YouTube. In the “Back to Basics” practice, instructor Becky Paris describes savasana (the final resting position), lying flat on one’s back, arms out with palms up, as “a sign of receptivity, that you are putting yourself in a safe place.” For me, that combination -- workout, then relaxation, plus the verbal assertion that I am in a safe place -- is an excellent way to close the stress response cycle.

I can’t do a whole vinyasa yoga flow more than once a day, so I also need to cut down on how much I read Twitter. Now that I’m more tuned into the stress response in my body, I can sometimes feel it beginning as soon as I pick up my phone. That thing is full of monsters.