At age 51, I have started taking speed. Adderall XR, prescribed for my ADHD (combined, but mostly the inattentive type, what used to be called ADD).
Just before going on the meds, I was anxious and unhappy. I was scared about what they might do if they didn’t work for me – I have a family member with bipolar disorder/what if the speed triggered a manic episode in me? And I was glum about what it means if they DO work – that I should have been on them years, decades ago – all that time I wasted, failing to get my shit together to do the things (write the books) I wanted to.
I was on kind of a shitty roller-coaster ride this week, and I hate roller-coasters.
