Still working on this :-)

 I saw an ad for a new (remake) horror movie and said, "I don't even know what *I* did last summer."

This summer, vaccinated and covid-tested, I did go to Dark Odyssey Summer Camp, and that was fantastic. We stayed outdoors 99% of the time and fixed all our own meals by our campsite. And only played with each other. But we got to see and greet and hug and chat with other people. So many lovely kinksters! I have missed that so much!

Phased Dread

A lone car was paused at the merge point where they should have been speeding up to join Interstate 95, in the tangle of Baltimore on-ramps just north of the tunnel. They had stopped because a pair of Canada geese were walking across the highway.

That was my first trip out of town during the pandemic, in April.

existential [hold the] malaise

why blog?

why do anything? no, don't go down that rabbithole; Cthulhu waits at the bottom.

A little compassion and a salted caramel chocolate.

I had an intense kinky long weekend, so now I have to write about subdrop. *sigh*

Subdrop is a subset (heh) of endorphin crash; see also "top drop." See also "event drop" or "con drop," after the wild activity of a long-anticipated convention or festival is over. Tuesday is a good day for drop. On Monday I was catching back up with my sweet regular life, reconnecting with my beloved nestmate, Mr. Darkness, and having a cozy TV night together. Then on Tuesday afternoon, when I should have been hotly productive, I began to flounder. That was when the bleak mood of exhausted despair set in. Everything I tried to work on was terrible. My body was terrible. Oh hello, I said to my inner monster: I see what you're trying to do. Nice fucking try.

Maybe ALL writing is self-help.

"Oracule" by djh (2014)

Why this blog? Because I sometimes feel so alone -- sober among the partiers; bi/poly/kinky in the straight, mononormative culture (which is also "vanilla," but with an unexamined predilection for male dominance and CNC.