Doing something inefficiently is still doing the thing.

 

Starfish Time: My friend (Irreverent Rhyme) told me about this. Starfish were thought to be relatively inactive, until someone started filming them in time-lapse, and then it turned out that they were traveling and foraging and even fighting -- just  v e e e r y   s l o w l y . . . 

This blog post has been sitting in draft form for weeks, if that gives you an idea of why I liked this notion. Starfish *do* get things done, but on their own schedules.

Well, I am a little restless about my own lack of momentum, so I did register for an online writing workshop for Jan.-Feb. I will benefit from having deadlines and accountability, as well as the feedback and literary interaction.

I might start using this blog as a place to play with smaller pieces of the memoir project, but I also might not. I am not sure what its uses are for me, yet.

The pandemic is worse in the U.S. than ever, thanks to rampant antiintellectualism and the amoral conmen in power. Vaccines probably won't be available for us nonessential folks until May or June. I'm practicing my socially distanced yoga, making tiny starfish steps in my writing projects, and trying to grow herbs indoors. Basil and thyme are happy; mint and parsley, nonplussed; cilantro might end up being a waste of coriander seeds, but it's fun to watch the tiny sprouts struggle up from their bit of earth.

Quote of the Day: From one of the Yoga Heights classes on youtube... 

"You're not here to punish yourself, you're here to explore how to open your body, and that tends to happen easier when you're nice to it." -- Becky Paris

(Or as my therapist used to say -- "Don't beat yourself up; that's your Domme's job.")

Vote, but also Plan

So now it's pandemic autumn in these fucked-up, disunited states. Voting is underway, and I hope anyone reading this has already voted to throw out the incredibly corrupt, misogynistic, racist, anti-environment, antidemocratic, disgusting, criminal TrumpPence administration. Yeah!

Phased Dread

A lone car was paused at the merge point where they should have been speeding up to join Interstate 95, in the tangle of Baltimore on-ramps just north of the tunnel. They had stopped because a pair of Canada geese were walking across the highway.

That was my first trip out of town during the pandemic, in April.

Vanquishing Little Monsters

Content Note: discusses exercise, covid stress, and bug extermination.

I killed a monster! It was an epic battle. Yesterday morning I came downstairs, opened the top of my coffeemaker, and a live cockroach was perched on the rim of the water reservoir. When I pursued the fiendish beast, it hid inside and clung to the plastic wall – sheltering in place even as I vigorously shook the whole coffee machine upside-down. I eventually dislodged the little monster with a spoon and crushed its horrible prehistoric body with a paper towel.

Then I cleaned EVERYTHING.

This should be good for my stress level.

getting creative while staying in

Pet Space (2018)

This year's Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit is cancelled. It was set for early August, but as they wisely point out:

"There is no way to know where we’ll be as a nation in August. But what we do know is that for many Summit attendees, a week, even a day, without income is often catastrophic. People will have used up personal time from work, and some will have had to shelter in place with no income at all. Already negatively impacted by FOSTA, many sex workers are now without any income or access to community resources. Our ability to fundraise for much-needed scholarships is limited right now, as our communities give their time, talents, and treasures to mutual aid in this crisis. Given the circumstances, the individuals who will benefit the most from the Summit programming will be least likely to be able to attend."

(Ricci Joy Levy, President/CEO, Woodhull Foundation) 

Dexys Midlife Bummers

At age 51, I have started taking speed. Adderall XR, prescribed for my ADHD (combined, but mostly the inattentive type, what used to be called ADD).
Just before going on the meds, I was anxious and unhappy. I was scared about what they might do if they didn’t work for me – I have a family member with bipolar disorder/what if the speed triggered a manic episode in me? And I was glum about what it means if they DO work – that I should have been on them years, decades ago – all that time I wasted, failing to get my shit together to do the things (write the books) I wanted to.

I was on kind of a shitty roller-coaster ride this week, and I hate roller-coasters.

My blog post is late because I wanted to write about the Strange Adult Hotel Event, and it's a very big topic for me & I have no idea how to begin, especially if some of my hypothetical readers have never heard anything about such SAHEs at all. So, it is still brewing.