That Weird Adult Party, the Hotel Thing…

Content note: This is one of the sex/kink/bdsm posts -- anyone who doesn’t want to read about that stuff, you can skip this whole post!

Let the Wild Rumpus start!

This would be the weekend. We would have checked into the hotel on Friday. I love the anticipation, packing toys, corsets, thigh-high stockings and wisps of lace, plus a few “street-legal,” aftercare-suitable comfy sweaters and coats. At hotel registration, there is such a dither of excitement; everyone looks AMAZING in their gothy, fetishy, glam, sexy, audacious finery, and we are all so glad to be there. It’s a family reunion and a gorgeous, dangerous circus.

Valentine’s weekend 2020 was my 14th time attending Dark Odyssey: WinterFire (although my first one, over Easter weekend 2007, was technically Spring Fire). I’ve gone solo, with friends, and with a partner. I arrived at Spring Fire a naïve newbie -- it was my first real kink event. I felt at home almost instantly, and it feels more like home every time.

But there is no WinterFire 2021. All last summer, I kept hoping the USA would finally take the pandemic seriously, get organized about sheltering-in-place, and hurry up with some quick-results testing regimens for widespread use in places like airports and hotels. At the kink events, staff are already checking everyone’s IDs and wristlets every time we go into the hotel or the playspace; they could easily add a mandatory daily COVID test and one more layer of security. But we are not there yet -- might never get there at this rate – so I am writing wistfully about past WinterFires.

I miss my Scene. I miss the workshops and the parties, and the random glimpses into other people’s fascinating lives. I miss people I’ve never spoken to, but whom I’ve seen every year and would recognize anywhere. I kept planning to write an overview here, but I find it too big a topic to squeeze into one blog post. A few highlights, then, and an ode to my favorite presenters.

*  2007: Tristan Taormino used a Baby Jesus buttplug in her anal play class, because of Easter. [Sadly, the Divine Interventions sex toy website seems to be defunct.]

(Yes, many of the workshops include a “demo bottom” – they might act as co-presenter or more like a willing prop, depending on the subject matter and the mode of presentation. I have watched people get fisted, blown, tied up, pierced, kicked in the jewels, and choked into a state of swooniness, all in classrooms where I could watch from a few feet away, take notes, and ask questions. It can be thrilling, confusing, scary, hilarious, nauseating… and very informative.)

*  2008, the year I only went on Friday -- but I made the most of it. Rachel Kramer Bussel read from her latest erotica anthology on spanking, and then she spanked volunteers from the audience. Then she spanked me across her lap while I tried to read aloud from the new anthology.

*  ’09: In a mad scientist roleplay scene, I got fire-cupped until my back looked like a kraken attack.

*  ’10: The first year I attended with a partner & stayed in the host hotel. Total immersion in the sexy circus for the whole weekend! I hazily recall being wrapped in clingfilm by one friend and then played with by the other.

*  ’11: Two different co-flogging scenes (turns out I love being the focus of / at the mercy of multiple Tops)

*  ’12: My first Nyotaimori scene: being one of the human sushi platters in the Hospitality Suite. The “Wide Open Mike” erotic readings… and my first suspension scene, at the mercy of three Dom[me]s (swoon).

*  ’13: Cotopped by Mr. Businessman and Ms. Hot Librarian at the suited tops/naked subs party.

*  ’14: I was very brave during Shay & Stefanos’ skin cuttings class. I have a longstanding fear of blades, and talked to my therapist before attending it (and she was on site! Have I talked up the Kink-Aware Professionals directory yet?) I did have a *tiny* breakdown after the class, a little crying, but many hugs. Then we got sushi, and I got to be the Nyotaimori platter for a small party in our hotel room, which I found emotionally nourishing as well as delicious.

*  ’15: Sober and sad from a recent breakup, I had a cathartic weekend: many hugs, much crying -- also therapeutic flogging and rope play. And where else would it be that easy to go straight from the AA meeting to the drag show?

*  ’16: Spontaneous group massage/impact play/dance party! Five of us commandeered a massage table during the DJ dance set in the ballroom. We took turns on the table, each receiving our own desired blend of massage, spanking, and gentle or ungentle, rhythmic touch. Dancing around while delivering massage, slapping and flogging to the beat, was exhilarating; lying on the table with eight hands touching me was glorious.

    Also… No Cake in the Dungeon! 

*  ’17: Wild Rumpus! I was “Max” in the Wild Things-themed variety show on Saturday night. Shay as MC was very patient with my atrocious memorization skills. (And she lent me her fuzzy wolf ears.)

*  ’18: For a “back to school”-themed dungeon party, I wore my Miskatonic U t-shirt and was scolded by Mistress Daisy for my non-regulation cutoffs: Another fun co-topping scene, this time featuring a Sharpie and a ruler.

*  ’19: The final year at our beloved DC host hotel… I wanted to remember every moment, but one highlight was VXTM’s workshop on porcupine quills. Not my kink, but fascinating to learn about, & fun to see someone turned into a beautiful pincushion in a less intense way than with needles or stapling.

*  And then 2020, before lockdown. WinterFire was in Baltimore for the first time, and it had a different feel. The dungeon space got overcrowded, and the Sex-o-Rama was on the 19th floor (the elevators got *really* overcrowded), so logistics were more of an issue. More of my sex/play happened in my own hotel room. I missed the sensory ocean of being in our private scene surrounded by a swirl of whip-cracks and moans. And now that there won’t be any more big shared kink events for who-knows-how-long, I miss all of it. Even the elevators.

A (power) couple of folks I miss especially…

Ode to Stefanos and Shay

Shay is beautiful and strong. Stefanos is menacing and hilarious. They are both incredibly poised and self-assured, at least as far as one can tell while watching them perform. When they co-teach a workshop, it is a virtuoso performance.

They are from San Francisco, but they feel like part of the family when they come to DC or MD for a Dark Odyssey event. Our relationship is mostly Rockstar/audience member, but occasionally I have gotten to help out with one of their amazing variety shows, and I felt so privileged to be part of the troupe.

I wonder what year my first workshop with Shay and Stefanos was. I’m pretty sure I remember the first time I saw them – my dom and I were in the main dungeon at the DC hotel, and they were having an unbelievably hot, intense scene inside a big cage. Boots and rough body play, and then, whoa, bloodletting… Stefanos and Shay are advanced, edgy players, and she is an actual ER nurse. (Applause! Cheering! Banging of pots and pans!)

Shay’s articles on anatomy and BDSM myths are incisive and informative, and she’s written the book on self-suspension bondage!

They are pillars of the community, not just oak beams but like those gorgeously carved marble columns that last thousands of years and still look amazing. They are also hilarious. Besides teaching, they have MC’d and produced kinky variety shows that blend the sexiness of good burlesque, the humor of vaudeville, and the virtuosity of circus athletics. (Their Heroes and Villains show, in which I was a “victim” who kept twisting her ankle incessantly, also featured a Jessica Jones-themed self-suspension scene that might be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.) Shay and Stefanos are stars, and hardworking ones, but they are also kind, open, and approachable. National treasures, is what I’m getting at. I miss seeing them SO much!

As I was writing this, I peeked at Fetlife and saw a note from Greg, the founder of Dark Odyssey, declaring that “The Twenties Will Roar Again”! Yes, we are all sending him “virtual Valentines” this year, but we WILL be back out there, and then … Let the wild rumpus resume!

[Max with Ay, the amazing helper unicorn! Pic by the also amazing Hypnox -- find him on Instagram at hypnox_photo]